Conditional Happiness Mental Habit Is Sabotaging Your Success
If you found yourself saying or thinking “I’ll be happy when ____”, then you have a mental habit of conditional happiness.
This mindset gets established early in life. Kids think they’ll be happy when they can drive. Then, happiness is shifted to graduation. Then graduation from college and a real job. On and on it goes, for decades, until life is over. People who suffer from this mindset tend to believe that they are only allowed to be happy when certain circumstances are met, but they keep moving the goal posts.
Things can always be better, which is good, but they also believe things are never quite good enough for happiness, which doesn’t work well. There’s simply no time in life for everything to become perfect. There’s not enough will or good luck in the universe for things to become perfect and stay that way.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t chronic, enduring problems we all want to go away and daydream about how good life will be when they’re gone. For example, struggling every month to pay the bills. When you’re trying to rebuild your financial state, it’s hard not to feel desperate every moment of every day, but it takes time to dig yourself out of a hole. If you deny yourself the opportunity to enjoy the good things that come your way during your journey to financial self-sufficiency, you won’t experience any joy at all.
Sometimes we must adjust our expectations of happiness, too. A beautiful day is something to be grateful for no matter our financial state. However, if we’re broke, enjoying a nice day becomes easier in one way—after all, good weather is still free. Yet, if we allow negativity to take over, our mindset can kill happiness with thoughts like, “What does it matter if it’s beautiful out? I have all these problems”—and thus lose some happiness.
How To Overcome Deferred Happiness Thinking
To counter this unhealthy mindset, consider cultivating gratitude and thankfulness. Those two attitudes are really hard to create when you’re beaten down and burdened with so many troubles, but things really can always get worse. Remember, it’s possible to lose what we have, no matter how little it seems, at any given time.
If you’re waiting to hit six figures, and just know you’ll be happy only when you hit it, imagine losing all the money you’ve made so far in your business. Suddenly your current profits seem more valuable. Everything in life is a matter of context and perspective. Yes, wanting to hit six figures and going for it is a great idea. However, basing your happiness today on events that haven’t happened means suffering when you don’t have to.
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